so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize