If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
