You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
