When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
