the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
