Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
