he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
