Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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