he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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