she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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