Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
