distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
