Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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