just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
