And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
