So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
