Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
