i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
