My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
