Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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