I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
