im drinking this country out of the recession.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
