WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
