I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
