my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
