So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
