i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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