Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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