Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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