I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
