dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
