you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
