fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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