Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i came on her dog
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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