I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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