I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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