He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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