marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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