you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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