he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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