i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
