I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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