Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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