My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
