TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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