I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
