yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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