Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
