Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my vag is so smooth its legendary
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
