Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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