So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
