too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
