he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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