I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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