remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
